The fact that I keep several different blogs as to sway people's eye on my life makes it very difficult to keep up with myself when I forget things...
I'm quite convinced i'm insane. Last week I missed a night of sleep, purposely. I'm not sure why, but I then proceded to overwork my body at practice that night. It was to a point that I realized that I don't even play like that at shows, and that I was just testing myself the 24 hours I had been awake. There's playing energetically, and playing to hurt yourself. I didn't get to hurt myself that night.
Not even in a sense to actually cause bodily harm to myself, but just another test of how much stress I can put myself under and walk away fine. It's not something new for me, cuz I've done it in other forms like putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to see how I handle it and hopefully learn from it in case it happens on accident someday. I'll do things that are emotionally stimulating after taking something and purposely dump myself into conversations some people shouldn't have with others.
I'm attributing these facts to the person i've come to realize I am. I've gotten over fear of physical harm, public humiliation, emotional trauma, hurting people's feelings, being held responsible for something, whatever. Recently I cut off ties with someone very close to me that helped me cap the top of my wall of fortitude. Even though that's in the past, I can't stop thinking. But it's a natural reaction: After a period of time and a degree of familiarity, emotionally insulting things can still tweak you. I still feel confident in what I did was right.
I want pills now more than ever.
2006-06-29
2006-04-05
2006-04-04
Where am I at right now? Well let's evaluate:
I've been talking to Brody and Germy more, as well as eating better also. Which is kinda cool, cuz I never really saw myself doing much of that... Which almost leads to the recent breaking between me and Cassie, which i'm sure some people must've heard of. She swears there's something else to my story, but I call it a well-placed coincidence.
Reburn and the Skidmarks is in the studio right now recording more than 30 tracks, of which 26 or so involve drums I recorded in one day. The next day after that was a looooooooong one for me because not only did I recorded all those songs in one day, we had a show later that night that we went straight to from Byron's. Guitars are being recorded right now, and I think vocals are being done tomorrow. I'm gonna be getting down on some backup vocals with Sean and maybe Wa, so I gotta be there.
Ikonoklast is also going into the studio this coming Saturday to record not QUITE as many songs at all. We're gonna be recording old songs that hadn't been redone since I've joined, as well as 5 or 6 new songs that we're really digging on. The songs i'm noticing that are being pumped out by Ikonoklast have changed a little bit more, kinda like how the last CD had a noticable difference from old material to new. The stuff we have now has an obvious amount of less cacophonic sequence tracks. There's even a new song that I actually play the part of a conservative drummer, which makes me sounds like a stupid drummer while in fact i'm just saying that playing to the music is usually involved and the sequence was a bit simplified for once. Which isn't bad... I like being involved...
I've been working with the youngest of the Trikoff's, Mike, at a place that makes shirts, and it's not that bad. I listen to Howard Stern in the morning, and Rawdog comedy in the afternoon. I have the hours i've been wanting so badly again (9-5) and it leaves room for one my bands to step in when applicable. With my nights and weekends back in my possession, it leaves room for shows and emergency meetings or whatever.
I'm working on getting a Mazda Miyata off a previous co-worker from Sam Ash, and as insurance that it would be mine when the money came to me I gave him a van. "Why didn't you just take the van Monkey?" First, the van needed an obvious amount of work done on it. Second, MY bands don't need one because 2 members (1 out of each band) already has one. Third, gas is expensive when you get 10 miles to the gallon. Especially when everything you need to tend to is on opposite sides of town. And finally, he's saving his sports car for me? I've been thinking about something like one of those for a while. All I need to do is dish out cash periodically and pray I never get hit in that crumple-zone-less thing...
I got a Motorola V3C Razr phone. It's so cool.
I think that's about it.
I've been talking to Brody and Germy more, as well as eating better also. Which is kinda cool, cuz I never really saw myself doing much of that... Which almost leads to the recent breaking between me and Cassie, which i'm sure some people must've heard of. She swears there's something else to my story, but I call it a well-placed coincidence.
Reburn and the Skidmarks is in the studio right now recording more than 30 tracks, of which 26 or so involve drums I recorded in one day. The next day after that was a looooooooong one for me because not only did I recorded all those songs in one day, we had a show later that night that we went straight to from Byron's. Guitars are being recorded right now, and I think vocals are being done tomorrow. I'm gonna be getting down on some backup vocals with Sean and maybe Wa, so I gotta be there.
Ikonoklast is also going into the studio this coming Saturday to record not QUITE as many songs at all. We're gonna be recording old songs that hadn't been redone since I've joined, as well as 5 or 6 new songs that we're really digging on. The songs i'm noticing that are being pumped out by Ikonoklast have changed a little bit more, kinda like how the last CD had a noticable difference from old material to new. The stuff we have now has an obvious amount of less cacophonic sequence tracks. There's even a new song that I actually play the part of a conservative drummer, which makes me sounds like a stupid drummer while in fact i'm just saying that playing to the music is usually involved and the sequence was a bit simplified for once. Which isn't bad... I like being involved...
I've been working with the youngest of the Trikoff's, Mike, at a place that makes shirts, and it's not that bad. I listen to Howard Stern in the morning, and Rawdog comedy in the afternoon. I have the hours i've been wanting so badly again (9-5) and it leaves room for one my bands to step in when applicable. With my nights and weekends back in my possession, it leaves room for shows and emergency meetings or whatever.
I'm working on getting a Mazda Miyata off a previous co-worker from Sam Ash, and as insurance that it would be mine when the money came to me I gave him a van. "Why didn't you just take the van Monkey?" First, the van needed an obvious amount of work done on it. Second, MY bands don't need one because 2 members (1 out of each band) already has one. Third, gas is expensive when you get 10 miles to the gallon. Especially when everything you need to tend to is on opposite sides of town. And finally, he's saving his sports car for me? I've been thinking about something like one of those for a while. All I need to do is dish out cash periodically and pray I never get hit in that crumple-zone-less thing...
I got a Motorola V3C Razr phone. It's so cool.
I think that's about it.
2006-03-15
Tiger Army w/ Calabrese, Korn w/ Mudvayne
I never got around to talking about my last weekend.
Tiger Army w/ Calabrese:
1. Got lost trying to find fastest way to Venue of Scottsdale from Cassie's
2. Traffic delays because of accidents
3. Saw lots of people I knew there
4. Met Cassie's friend David. And he's very tall.
5. Rocked out to Calabrese
6. Mobbed the front for Tiger Army
7. Knocked bitches down
Korn w/ Mudvayne:
1. With Cassie, caught a ride with Caleb
2. Drank some booze before the show
3. Forgot to buy a shirt
4. Loved Mudvayne, but was disapointed by their set
5. Snuck closer for Korn
6. Caleb tried to mob pit, but failed due to 8 big fucking guards
7. Enjoyed the show
Pretty good stuff that weekend.
Tiger Army w/ Calabrese:
1. Got lost trying to find fastest way to Venue of Scottsdale from Cassie's
2. Traffic delays because of accidents
3. Saw lots of people I knew there
4. Met Cassie's friend David. And he's very tall.
5. Rocked out to Calabrese
6. Mobbed the front for Tiger Army
7. Knocked bitches down
Korn w/ Mudvayne:
1. With Cassie, caught a ride with Caleb
2. Drank some booze before the show
3. Forgot to buy a shirt
4. Loved Mudvayne, but was disapointed by their set
5. Snuck closer for Korn
6. Caleb tried to mob pit, but failed due to 8 big fucking guards
7. Enjoyed the show
Pretty good stuff that weekend.
2006-03-02
Monkey, the tradesman.
So i'm freelancing all over the place. Getting ready to do drum lessons, fixing computers. I feel pretty sweet. I came over to John's to see why his box wasn't turning on. So I tried swapping the monitor power cord with the one already in it and still nothing. So then I plugged the monitor into the same socket where the computer was at, and no power. I then tried to pry the front of the GaycHP, as to get to the actual button, in case maybe it wasn't making proper contact with the clicky thingy. Sure enough, no electricity was passing into the bastard thing. So I concluded that the power supply was bad, it looks like the computer is at least 6 or 7 years old, just judging from the style of the case. So me and John went to Fry's Electronics to grab one, and then came back to put it in.
I'm not using the computer I fixed...
I FOUND A MOBILE PHONE SYNC FOR MY PHONE! HOLY SHIT I ROCK!
And I still love Cassie. It's just too bad I don't live in L.A.
2006-01-20
So I’ve been working at Guitar Center since the almost beginning of November.
Selling my ass off as much as I could in my first month, I didn’t get my commission check, but that’s expected when you first start. The process is this:
(8% of Gross profit) + (x% of Gross sales) – Hourly in a month = Commission Check
Level E – 1.0%
Level D – 1.5%
Level C – 2.0% (I’m right here)
Level B – 2.5%
Level A – 3.0%
The percentage of gross sales is determined by the level of certification you have completed. And it goes without saying, you need to make more in a month in commission than you would hourly.
I was short in my first month to get a commission check by like 900 bucks or so. But my full month in the busiest shopping day of the year (December) I made almost 40k in gross sales, and almost 10k in gross profit. A few hundred under each realistically. So you can figure the math. I was one of the hardest working guys there, because I thought all the organizing, following orders, merchandising, and everything would pay off. (You see why I said was in a minute)
As of this month, I’ve been ranked as top 100 in the company for the drum department, and top 10 in the district. And of course my manager in drums, Gary, is 1 and 1. But when I picked up my commission check on the 13th, I couldn’t be more disappointed. All the work I had put in, hoping for a commission check to fix my car, or get a new one, would be shot down when I got that baby dick pay stub. As of that point in time, I’ve lost all my faith in my career at Guitar Center.
I skipped work yesterday without the smallest care in whether or not the drum department had coverage, as I was the only opener. I’ve always been worried about doing any little thing to get in trouble, so I’ve always been balls at attention to keep everyone happy. But today, the store manager told Gary to tell me not to worry about coming in today, and I know why. But I don’t care, because the company that’s so worried about taking care of customers does nothing to take of their sales associates.
So there it is. I thought I had found the dream job, in a drum shop. I did everything I could to please the people above me that worked there, but the reality of my job has set in and I won’t do anything for them anymore. I will stay there until I’m on the verge of losing my job, and I will leave. I’m a useless meat puppet on the clock there now.
So in case I see a bit off, or more angry than usual, there are reasons that I’ve been mad that are ringing in half the people I know ears. The job I thought would help me fix my car, couldn’t even do that in the three months I’ve been there. And so on, and so on.
… So I went somewhere that pays more for the same job.
(8% of Gross profit) + (x% of Gross sales) – Hourly in a month = Commission Check
Level E – 1.0%
Level D – 1.5%
Level C – 2.0% (I’m right here)
Level B – 2.5%
Level A – 3.0%
The percentage of gross sales is determined by the level of certification you have completed. And it goes without saying, you need to make more in a month in commission than you would hourly.
I was short in my first month to get a commission check by like 900 bucks or so. But my full month in the busiest shopping day of the year (December) I made almost 40k in gross sales, and almost 10k in gross profit. A few hundred under each realistically. So you can figure the math. I was one of the hardest working guys there, because I thought all the organizing, following orders, merchandising, and everything would pay off. (You see why I said was in a minute)
As of this month, I’ve been ranked as top 100 in the company for the drum department, and top 10 in the district. And of course my manager in drums, Gary, is 1 and 1. But when I picked up my commission check on the 13th, I couldn’t be more disappointed. All the work I had put in, hoping for a commission check to fix my car, or get a new one, would be shot down when I got that baby dick pay stub. As of that point in time, I’ve lost all my faith in my career at Guitar Center.
I skipped work yesterday without the smallest care in whether or not the drum department had coverage, as I was the only opener. I’ve always been worried about doing any little thing to get in trouble, so I’ve always been balls at attention to keep everyone happy. But today, the store manager told Gary to tell me not to worry about coming in today, and I know why. But I don’t care, because the company that’s so worried about taking care of customers does nothing to take of their sales associates.
So there it is. I thought I had found the dream job, in a drum shop. I did everything I could to please the people above me that worked there, but the reality of my job has set in and I won’t do anything for them anymore. I will stay there until I’m on the verge of losing my job, and I will leave. I’m a useless meat puppet on the clock there now.
So in case I see a bit off, or more angry than usual, there are reasons that I’ve been mad that are ringing in half the people I know ears. The job I thought would help me fix my car, couldn’t even do that in the three months I’ve been there. And so on, and so on.
… So I went somewhere that pays more for the same job.
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