I can’t sleep, and here’s why:
I thought that I was going to sleep
To prepare for my day ahead
When I started crying into my pillow
Thinking “I wish that I was dead”
I know they think I’m worthless
That the future holds nothing for me
And sometimes I think they’re right
So now I can not sleep.
I wish to only slew my inner thoughts that I will not speak
Because “Nothing bothers me”
I remain calm at all times on the outside
And I try not to raise an eye in times of urgency
But the truth is that I’m weak inside
My steady grin is just a mask
It hides my insecurities and flaws I choose to hide
I constantly watch the clock change time
Worrying constantly about what the future holds for me
Where will I be living in by the time I’m 25?
What will my love think, should I happen to fail?
But I stand for what I’m certain of
I’m relentless in my pursuits and I don’t easily give up
I get things done to prove people wrong and throw it in their face
I do as I say and say as I do
I’m a man of my word
But I still feel like I lost
So now I wipe my nose and eyes, and drift to sleep.
Don’t get me wrong… I’ll still take a bat to you if you cross me. I’m no bitch.
2005-10-31
2005-10-23
Neo-Classical
I sat down a little while ago to learn Michael Angelo’s No Boundaries. If you know who he is but don’t know the name, it’s probably that video you downloaded from the internet that says “Speed Kills!” But I started learning the neo-classical section of that song and my dad was like “Hey Yngwie!” I just laughed. I like the classical shit on guitar…
2005-10-20
Another day in the life...
Yeah, back to my pirating days… Selling bootlegs of operation systems, burning multiple copies of applications that are in high demand for distribution to the masses. Reason 2.5 is a popular program! I can’t wait till that job agency thing gets me my first job with them… I hear that when other employers are seeking out people, my company will negotiate raises for me to hook a nigga up!
I got my sister a copy of Diablo running on Battlenet. She’s been playing it for hours as a sorcerer… Got to make some sales!
I got my sister a copy of Diablo running on Battlenet. She’s been playing it for hours as a sorcerer… Got to make some sales!
2005-10-18
2005-10-17
The way my night worked.
So gay, I don’t have any gas to hang out with my woman. I know that doesn’t sound like a huge deal to many people, but since I’ve hung out with her almost every day for the past 3 months plus, I just can’t feel comfortable away from her. But I ended up cruising with some other people since they were in the area. But god damn I hate being around ‘girls’. Women are still annoying, but ‘girls’, even when there’s only two, is a task of monumental endurance test of epic proportions.
Food for Thought
Food for Thought:
Yesterday,
I sang a song
About a song
I sang yesterday.
Tomorrow,
I'll sing a song
About a song
I'll sing tomorrow.
Something that ups the ante a bit:
BUSINESSMAN
(Dominant Extrovert Concrete Thinker )
Mike Soucy
Like just 3% of the population you are a BUSINESSMAN (DECT). Hide the children and protect the bunnies, basically. In ancient times you would be a deadly barbarian. These days, you're perfect for Wall Street. You prefer concrete thinking to a more creative style, and your direct modes of thought and action help you succeed in whatever you may try to accomplish.
Your forceful and outgoing personality can make you seem like a hothead, but because your mind ultimately rules your heart you rarely let your emotions get in the way of your goals. By the way, think of Genghis Kahn buying seven million pork bellies on the trading market, and then eating half of them, and you have yourself. Good luck.
I don’t know if I would be good on Wall Street. But I’m sure I would’ve been great during the bootlegging back in the 20’s and shit. I’ve done my fair share of illegal trafficking and gun running. Nabbing up illegal stuff from places… As far as being a deadly barbarian, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a gladiator in roman times. You fight for fame, bitches, and free everything. Mostly the fame I guess… Didn’t they make statues to honor their beloved fighters of back then? I don’t know, I’m asking…
Yesterday,
I sang a song
About a song
I sang yesterday.
Tomorrow,
I'll sing a song
About a song
I'll sing tomorrow.
Something that ups the ante a bit:
BUSINESSMAN
(Dominant Extrovert Concrete Thinker )
Mike Soucy
Like just 3% of the population you are a BUSINESSMAN (DECT). Hide the children and protect the bunnies, basically. In ancient times you would be a deadly barbarian. These days, you're perfect for Wall Street. You prefer concrete thinking to a more creative style, and your direct modes of thought and action help you succeed in whatever you may try to accomplish.
Your forceful and outgoing personality can make you seem like a hothead, but because your mind ultimately rules your heart you rarely let your emotions get in the way of your goals. By the way, think of Genghis Kahn buying seven million pork bellies on the trading market, and then eating half of them, and you have yourself. Good luck.
I don’t know if I would be good on Wall Street. But I’m sure I would’ve been great during the bootlegging back in the 20’s and shit. I’ve done my fair share of illegal trafficking and gun running. Nabbing up illegal stuff from places… As far as being a deadly barbarian, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a gladiator in roman times. You fight for fame, bitches, and free everything. Mostly the fame I guess… Didn’t they make statues to honor their beloved fighters of back then? I don’t know, I’m asking…
I got more!
Okay, this is the last one.
entry:
eventtime: 2004-02-04 22:17:00
logtime: 2004-02-04 21:15:46
event: Another boring day...
Me and Tasia are still good. Me and Meghan still aren't. French fry's still have to be greasy and salty enough to give me a minor heart attack before I eat them. And of course, I'm still totally in the drum mood. I'm going on another week of drumming every damn day. I've joined up with Bloodline (formerly Thermal Kount) and their new bassist, and without John on secondary vocals. So naturally, I've been listening to a whole bunch of Killswitch Engage for the past week.
I've also been rolling around the inspirations I've had over the past few years when it came to my drumming. I know there's more than what's listed, I just wanna goto sleep though.
1. Drugs (Freshman year and previous year)
2. Slipknot (Joey Jordison, my first real taste of speed)
3. Pantera (Vinnie Paul and his conservative when neccesary approach)
4. Dillinger Escape Plan (Chris Pennie: Math-core. Time changes, style, complexity)
5. Soulfly (Heavy fucking tribal shit)
6. The Deftones (Abe Cunningham and his half time grooves)
7. System Of A Down (John gave me a whole new look at taking basic rhythms and making them sound good with the right music)
8. A Perfect Circle (Josh Freese and the things you can do in 12/8)
9. Tool (Danny Carrey: Don't we all like him even a little?)
10. Rush (Neil Peart is what happens when you wanna be good but don't believe in adlib. So I believe in improvisation)
11. Dream Theater (Mike Portnoy is the bar that I've raised it to)
12. Poison The Well (Chris Hornbrook enlightened me to another style of music that I like)
13. Hella (Zack Hill makes sporatic, indecisve sounding beats sound orchestrated... Jesus this guy is good)
14. Macabre (I've never seen anyone play like this Dennis The Menace. I saw them at a show I played at with Ikonoklast)
15. My homie Jake (I'm always lagging in something, and I thank Jake for letting me know what it is)
16. Jeremy Stafford (The bastard was the one who was my instructor for 4 years, he is the reason I was able to learn a majority of the stuff I've been able to learn. Mostly because of the style in which I was taking all of our book in)
17. Anthony Olivas (I always held a competition in my mind with him, and as he got better, so did I. I was his percussive shadow)
18. Everyone I've ever jammed with (A drummer has to know how to adjust to the situations he's in, and becauise of all the people I have drummed with/for or will in the future, I'm able to adjust to almost any thing)
19. Family (How do you think I started?)
20. Betsy (As much as I know she hates me, she had an effect on my drumming too. I just don't think she's ever gonna know, on the account that she won't ever talk to me again. She was an inspiration)
21. Everyone from drumline every year (I learn from everything, and everyone has taught me something, whether as a single person or as a collective group)
22. Everyone that has ever complimented me (I must be on the right track, and I'm glad that some people can actually sit down, have a beer with me, and just bring it up once in a conversation, even for just a second)
And the most important one is:
23. YOU'RE MOM! HAHAHA!
entry:
eventtime: 2004-02-04 22:17:00
logtime: 2004-02-04 21:15:46
event: Another boring day...
Me and Tasia are still good. Me and Meghan still aren't. French fry's still have to be greasy and salty enough to give me a minor heart attack before I eat them. And of course, I'm still totally in the drum mood. I'm going on another week of drumming every damn day. I've joined up with Bloodline (formerly Thermal Kount) and their new bassist, and without John on secondary vocals. So naturally, I've been listening to a whole bunch of Killswitch Engage for the past week.
I've also been rolling around the inspirations I've had over the past few years when it came to my drumming. I know there's more than what's listed, I just wanna goto sleep though.
1. Drugs (Freshman year and previous year)
2. Slipknot (Joey Jordison, my first real taste of speed)
3. Pantera (Vinnie Paul and his conservative when neccesary approach)
4. Dillinger Escape Plan (Chris Pennie: Math-core. Time changes, style, complexity)
5. Soulfly (Heavy fucking tribal shit)
6. The Deftones (Abe Cunningham and his half time grooves)
7. System Of A Down (John gave me a whole new look at taking basic rhythms and making them sound good with the right music)
8. A Perfect Circle (Josh Freese and the things you can do in 12/8)
9. Tool (Danny Carrey: Don't we all like him even a little?)
10. Rush (Neil Peart is what happens when you wanna be good but don't believe in adlib. So I believe in improvisation)
11. Dream Theater (Mike Portnoy is the bar that I've raised it to)
12. Poison The Well (Chris Hornbrook enlightened me to another style of music that I like)
13. Hella (Zack Hill makes sporatic, indecisve sounding beats sound orchestrated... Jesus this guy is good)
14. Macabre (I've never seen anyone play like this Dennis The Menace. I saw them at a show I played at with Ikonoklast)
15. My homie Jake (I'm always lagging in something, and I thank Jake for letting me know what it is)
16. Jeremy Stafford (The bastard was the one who was my instructor for 4 years, he is the reason I was able to learn a majority of the stuff I've been able to learn. Mostly because of the style in which I was taking all of our book in)
17. Anthony Olivas (I always held a competition in my mind with him, and as he got better, so did I. I was his percussive shadow)
18. Everyone I've ever jammed with (A drummer has to know how to adjust to the situations he's in, and becauise of all the people I have drummed with/for or will in the future, I'm able to adjust to almost any thing)
19. Family (How do you think I started?)
20. Betsy (As much as I know she hates me, she had an effect on my drumming too. I just don't think she's ever gonna know, on the account that she won't ever talk to me again. She was an inspiration)
21. Everyone from drumline every year (I learn from everything, and everyone has taught me something, whether as a single person or as a collective group)
22. Everyone that has ever complimented me (I must be on the right track, and I'm glad that some people can actually sit down, have a beer with me, and just bring it up once in a conversation, even for just a second)
And the most important one is:
23. YOU'RE MOM! HAHAHA!
While archiving my old Deadjournal
While archiving my old Deadjournal:
I came across some pretty funny conversations I had with people. I used to use my journal all the time too… I saw all I kinds of posts about going back to school for my 2nd senior year, taking me through my emotional spin of trying to ween off personal relationships with cunts, my little flirt with depression, insomnia, ESPECIALLY insomnia. How did I do that shit?
entry:
eventtime: 2003-12-21 15:02:00
logtime: 2003-12-21 13:59:55
event: i've heard the most awesome quote: "i'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggot goth kid."
fat zep (2:59:37 PM): i just found a remedy for my sickness: 1 thinger of ramen, half a jar of pepper, microwave for 3 minutes, eat. No more stuffy nose.
monk sez (2:59:46 PM): lol
monk sez (2:59:57 PM): your also have painful shits after a half bottle of pepper
fat zep (3:00:05 PM): ..uh oh.
monk sez (3:00:15 PM): nervous?
fat zep (3:00:20 PM): nah.
fat zep (3:00:24 PM): i can take the heat.
monk sez (3:00:32 PM): thats the spirit!
security: public
allowmask: 0
current_music: ? - ?
current_mood: hungover/horny
I came across some pretty funny conversations I had with people. I used to use my journal all the time too… I saw all I kinds of posts about going back to school for my 2nd senior year, taking me through my emotional spin of trying to ween off personal relationships with cunts, my little flirt with depression, insomnia, ESPECIALLY insomnia. How did I do that shit?
entry:
eventtime: 2003-12-21 15:02:00
logtime: 2003-12-21 13:59:55
event: i've heard the most awesome quote: "i'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggot goth kid."
fat zep (2:59:37 PM): i just found a remedy for my sickness: 1 thinger of ramen, half a jar of pepper, microwave for 3 minutes, eat. No more stuffy nose.
monk sez (2:59:46 PM): lol
monk sez (2:59:57 PM): your also have painful shits after a half bottle of pepper
fat zep (3:00:05 PM): ..uh oh.
monk sez (3:00:15 PM): nervous?
fat zep (3:00:20 PM): nah.
fat zep (3:00:24 PM): i can take the heat.
monk sez (3:00:32 PM): thats the spirit!
security: public
allowmask: 0
current_music: ? - ?
current_mood: hungover/horny
Well this certainly looks different...
Well this certainly looks different…
I thought I’d hook myself up with a thing on www.Blogger.com to take a more sophisticated looking approach at the way I take notes on things that happen to me or other people. But I’ll still keep my Deadjournal, just because so much damned stuff happen to me while I used it.
And with this, I can update from Microsoft Word! How killer is this…
I thought I’d hook myself up with a thing on www.Blogger.com to take a more sophisticated looking approach at the way I take notes on things that happen to me or other people. But I’ll still keep my Deadjournal, just because so much damned stuff happen to me while I used it.
And with this, I can update from Microsoft Word! How killer is this…
2005-09-14
Farefis now
[20:29] Puking out hate: dude
[20:29] Puking out hate: sooo gay
[20:29] Puking out hate: so very gay
[20:29] monk sez: What.
[20:29] Puking out hate: I just watched a tape of Farefis playing
[20:29] Puking out hate: and I wanted to cry
[20:29] monk sez: From when?
[20:29] Puking out hate: that party at Sids neighbors house
[20:30] Puking out hate: my friend recorded you the entire time
[20:30] monk sez: What about it?
[20:30] monk sez: I kinda wanna se it.
[20:30] Puking out hate: I made Marty watch it with me, he didnt say a word the entire time, and all I could think was "we fucked up sooo bad"
[20:30] monk sez: Wow.
[20:31] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:31] Puking out hate: we lost something big
[20:31] Puking out hate: and its NOT sid
[20:31] monk sez: I guess you know what to do from now on then. :-
[20:31] Puking out hate: eh, yeah
[20:31] Puking out hate: it just sucks
[20:32] Puking out hate: Kyle just gave me that look while we watched it
[20:32] monk sez: Who has the tape?
[20:32] Puking out hate: me
[20:32] Puking out hate: its in my room
[20:32] monk sez: Don't lose it or anything, I wanna see it.
[20:32] Puking out hate: ok
[20:32] Puking out hate: Ill hang onto it
[20:32] Puking out hate: its in a spot I cant loose it
[20:32] monk sez: In your pants?
[20:33] Puking out hate: hahahah
[20:33] Puking out hate: I lose sooooo much stuff in my pants
[20:33] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:33] monk sez: I lose control in MY pants.
[20:33] Puking out hate: hahahah
[20:33] Puking out hate: thats the best place to lose control
[20:33] monk sez: Damn straight.
[20:33] Puking out hate: hey
[20:33] Puking out hate: just curious
[20:33] Puking out hate: whats the main reasons you left Farefis?
[20:33] Puking out hate: was it us as people?
[20:33] monk sez: Got bored.
[20:34] monk sez: Not really.
[20:34] monk sez: Just the fact I had nothing to show that we were doing something right.
[20:34] Puking out hate: I understand that
[20:34] Puking out hate: me and Kyle had a talk last night
[20:34] Puking out hate: you also helped write our songs
[20:34] Puking out hate: that was another thing that was badass about you
[20:35] monk sez: I play alot of guitar man, heh.
[20:35] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:35] Puking out hate: exactly
[20:35] Puking out hate: Marty can play parts, but he doenst innovate, or creat anything you do
[20:35] Puking out hate: I honestly dont think he can ever fill those shoes
[20:36] monk sez: You don't?
[20:36] Puking out hate: Im not trying to blow your shit up, or anything like that
[20:36] Puking out hate: but yeah, I dont think he ever will
[20:36] Puking out hate: he can walk a path, not make one
[20:36] monk sez: That's one thing I Believe every musician should be able to do in order to be a master of their instrument.
[20:37] Puking out hate: exactly
[20:37] Puking out hate: he cant
[20:37] Puking out hate: and its dragging me and Kyle down
[20:37] Puking out hate: its depressing
[20:37] monk sez: It's like coming to a party. Anyone can go, but what are you gonna bring with you to the festivities to make it better.
[20:37] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:37] Puking out hate: good one
[20:37] monk sez: "I BROUGHT A KEG!"
[20:37] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:37] monk sez: Then you the fucking man.
[20:37] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:37] Puking out hate: I brought 5 sexy chicks
[20:38] monk sez: You also would be the man.
[20:38] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:38] Puking out hate: Marty would bring his daughter
[20:38] Puking out hate: and ask everyone not to be loud
[20:38] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:38] Puking out hate: diss
[20:38] monk sez: Lol.
[20:38] monk sez: BURN!
[20:38] Puking out hate: Count it!!!
[20:39] Puking out hate: I dont know if he will work out as our permanent drummer
[20:39] Puking out hate: as soon as we get a studio this weekend
[20:39] Puking out hate: this bands going to be taking a big step in a serious way
[20:39] monk sez: Yeah. Released into the wild.
[20:39] Puking out hate: I dont think he can be dedicated
[20:40] Puking out hate: we all need it
[20:40] Puking out hate: everyone in Farefis needs the music
[20:40] Puking out hate: its so fucking gay what happened to our band man
[20:40] monk sez: It's not that big a deal yet.
[20:40] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:41] Puking out hate: its gotten so bad compared to what we where
[20:41] Puking out hate: we havent done shit
[20:41] monk sez: As long as everyone still wants to be Farefis, things will get good.
[20:41] Puking out hate: were teaching Jeremy our songs, he loves it, and hes doing good
[20:41] Puking out hate: but Marty doesnt even know more than 4 songs
[20:41] Puking out hate: Jeremy says its our fault
[20:41] Puking out hate: but I dont think thats the case
[20:41] Puking out hate: hes a big pothead
[20:42] Puking out hate: and drinker
[20:42] monk sez: Does he see what goes on between you guys while your practicing.
[20:42] Puking out hate: what do you mean?
[20:42] monk sez: Why does he think it's your fault.
[20:43] Puking out hate: oh, because he says where bad at teaching him, or we have to high expectaitions
[20:43] Puking out hate: if he cant play the part, he just asks us to change it to something easier
[20:43] Puking out hate: like the chorus in hail
[20:43] Puking out hate: he wanted to get rid of it
[20:43] Puking out hate: because he cant play the tempo
[20:43] Puking out hate: Im like fuck no
[20:43] monk sez: There's an important rule about stuff like that:
[20:44] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:44] monk sez: Don't water down your music to make it playable. If it's good the way it is, why would you dismantle something good.
[20:44] Puking out hate: learn it, and get better
[20:44] monk sez: Exactly.
[20:44] Puking out hate: I told him to either learn it, or just sit there and look dumb
[20:44] monk sez: Man up and learn something harder than what you can play. How else do you get better.
[20:45] Puking out hate: exactly
[20:45] Puking out hate: he seems to think differently
[20:45] Puking out hate: Im sober now
[20:45] Puking out hate: Im not drinking anymore
[20:45] Puking out hate: not for awhile
[20:45] monk sez: Coo.
[20:45] Puking out hate: same with Jason
[20:45] Puking out hate: Kyles just himself, and his voice and commitment are great so no complaints there
[20:47] monk sez: Hey. Can you check something out for me?
[20:47] Puking out hate: sure
[20:47] monk sez: http://www.myspace.com/reburnandtheskidmarks
[20:47] monk sez: Listen to I fucked Your Dog.
[20:47] Puking out hate: ok
[20:47] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:29] Puking out hate: sooo gay
[20:29] Puking out hate: so very gay
[20:29] monk sez: What.
[20:29] Puking out hate: I just watched a tape of Farefis playing
[20:29] Puking out hate: and I wanted to cry
[20:29] monk sez: From when?
[20:29] Puking out hate: that party at Sids neighbors house
[20:30] Puking out hate: my friend recorded you the entire time
[20:30] monk sez: What about it?
[20:30] monk sez: I kinda wanna se it.
[20:30] Puking out hate: I made Marty watch it with me, he didnt say a word the entire time, and all I could think was "we fucked up sooo bad"
[20:30] monk sez: Wow.
[20:31] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:31] Puking out hate: we lost something big
[20:31] Puking out hate: and its NOT sid
[20:31] monk sez: I guess you know what to do from now on then. :-
[20:31] Puking out hate: eh, yeah
[20:31] Puking out hate: it just sucks
[20:32] Puking out hate: Kyle just gave me that look while we watched it
[20:32] monk sez: Who has the tape?
[20:32] Puking out hate: me
[20:32] Puking out hate: its in my room
[20:32] monk sez: Don't lose it or anything, I wanna see it.
[20:32] Puking out hate: ok
[20:32] Puking out hate: Ill hang onto it
[20:32] Puking out hate: its in a spot I cant loose it
[20:32] monk sez: In your pants?
[20:33] Puking out hate: hahahah
[20:33] Puking out hate: I lose sooooo much stuff in my pants
[20:33] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:33] monk sez: I lose control in MY pants.
[20:33] Puking out hate: hahahah
[20:33] Puking out hate: thats the best place to lose control
[20:33] monk sez: Damn straight.
[20:33] Puking out hate: hey
[20:33] Puking out hate: just curious
[20:33] Puking out hate: whats the main reasons you left Farefis?
[20:33] Puking out hate: was it us as people?
[20:33] monk sez: Got bored.
[20:34] monk sez: Not really.
[20:34] monk sez: Just the fact I had nothing to show that we were doing something right.
[20:34] Puking out hate: I understand that
[20:34] Puking out hate: me and Kyle had a talk last night
[20:34] Puking out hate: you also helped write our songs
[20:34] Puking out hate: that was another thing that was badass about you
[20:35] monk sez: I play alot of guitar man, heh.
[20:35] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:35] Puking out hate: exactly
[20:35] Puking out hate: Marty can play parts, but he doenst innovate, or creat anything you do
[20:35] Puking out hate: I honestly dont think he can ever fill those shoes
[20:36] monk sez: You don't?
[20:36] Puking out hate: Im not trying to blow your shit up, or anything like that
[20:36] Puking out hate: but yeah, I dont think he ever will
[20:36] Puking out hate: he can walk a path, not make one
[20:36] monk sez: That's one thing I Believe every musician should be able to do in order to be a master of their instrument.
[20:37] Puking out hate: exactly
[20:37] Puking out hate: he cant
[20:37] Puking out hate: and its dragging me and Kyle down
[20:37] Puking out hate: its depressing
[20:37] monk sez: It's like coming to a party. Anyone can go, but what are you gonna bring with you to the festivities to make it better.
[20:37] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:37] Puking out hate: good one
[20:37] monk sez: "I BROUGHT A KEG!"
[20:37] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:37] monk sez: Then you the fucking man.
[20:37] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:37] Puking out hate: I brought 5 sexy chicks
[20:38] monk sez: You also would be the man.
[20:38] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:38] Puking out hate: Marty would bring his daughter
[20:38] Puking out hate: and ask everyone not to be loud
[20:38] Puking out hate: hahaha
[20:38] Puking out hate: diss
[20:38] monk sez: Lol.
[20:38] monk sez: BURN!
[20:38] Puking out hate: Count it!!!
[20:39] Puking out hate: I dont know if he will work out as our permanent drummer
[20:39] Puking out hate: as soon as we get a studio this weekend
[20:39] Puking out hate: this bands going to be taking a big step in a serious way
[20:39] monk sez: Yeah. Released into the wild.
[20:39] Puking out hate: I dont think he can be dedicated
[20:40] Puking out hate: we all need it
[20:40] Puking out hate: everyone in Farefis needs the music
[20:40] Puking out hate: its so fucking gay what happened to our band man
[20:40] monk sez: It's not that big a deal yet.
[20:40] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:41] Puking out hate: its gotten so bad compared to what we where
[20:41] Puking out hate: we havent done shit
[20:41] monk sez: As long as everyone still wants to be Farefis, things will get good.
[20:41] Puking out hate: were teaching Jeremy our songs, he loves it, and hes doing good
[20:41] Puking out hate: but Marty doesnt even know more than 4 songs
[20:41] Puking out hate: Jeremy says its our fault
[20:41] Puking out hate: but I dont think thats the case
[20:41] Puking out hate: hes a big pothead
[20:42] Puking out hate: and drinker
[20:42] monk sez: Does he see what goes on between you guys while your practicing.
[20:42] Puking out hate: what do you mean?
[20:42] monk sez: Why does he think it's your fault.
[20:43] Puking out hate: oh, because he says where bad at teaching him, or we have to high expectaitions
[20:43] Puking out hate: if he cant play the part, he just asks us to change it to something easier
[20:43] Puking out hate: like the chorus in hail
[20:43] Puking out hate: he wanted to get rid of it
[20:43] Puking out hate: because he cant play the tempo
[20:43] Puking out hate: Im like fuck no
[20:43] monk sez: There's an important rule about stuff like that:
[20:44] Puking out hate: yeah
[20:44] monk sez: Don't water down your music to make it playable. If it's good the way it is, why would you dismantle something good.
[20:44] Puking out hate: learn it, and get better
[20:44] monk sez: Exactly.
[20:44] Puking out hate: I told him to either learn it, or just sit there and look dumb
[20:44] monk sez: Man up and learn something harder than what you can play. How else do you get better.
[20:45] Puking out hate: exactly
[20:45] Puking out hate: he seems to think differently
[20:45] Puking out hate: Im sober now
[20:45] Puking out hate: Im not drinking anymore
[20:45] Puking out hate: not for awhile
[20:45] monk sez: Coo.
[20:45] Puking out hate: same with Jason
[20:45] Puking out hate: Kyles just himself, and his voice and commitment are great so no complaints there
[20:47] monk sez: Hey. Can you check something out for me?
[20:47] Puking out hate: sure
[20:47] monk sez: http://www.myspace.com/reburnandtheskidmarks
[20:47] monk sez: Listen to I fucked Your Dog.
[20:47] Puking out hate: ok
[20:47] Puking out hate: hahaha
Evaluation: Quick write up of my last few months
Hmm... Well let's see here:
I came to the conclusion at one point that girls/women/females were all pretty lame. I've seen how they work, the games they played with people, they're cries for attention, the works. Don't like them. I just look at everyone as people now, it just makes things easier to sort out. But sometimes i'll probably slip I guess.
I left Farefis a while ago, mostly cuz of the lack of drive and motivation that I need to see with people when it comes to something that requires a team effort. Sid just got lazy and I was always diagnosing Dustin with terminal ADD. If you can do that kind of thing. So to not totally fuck them I gave them a month's notice for last minute changes they might have wanted to make. Didn't really help; so I left and found them another drummer that was looking to get back in to the style of music that they were playing kinda. Kinda style I mean. So I came by and checked them out when they were practicing, showed the new guy a bit of what the drums were about (cuz they were a bit more involved then a normal drum beat) and jammed with the guys just for the hell of it. I can't wait till their next show.
I met a lady named Cassie at one of Farefis's last little house party shows for Angela's birthday party when she came with Trey. For a little while I kept trying to ask her if she was like available, and then eventually went for it. She was the exception on my view with females: She's the only cool one. We've been together almost 3 months, and i'm totally not letting her go anywhere.
[content edit] Tour came and was the time of my life... again. I belong on the road playing music and partying my ass off until I wake up the next day in some random city I don't know having to get up to go to the next city.
I got a job working at Pegasus Solutions, which i'm at right now. But i'm still training until next week. It will be at that point, I can officially not use the internet at work for leisure purposes. But that's okay. I'm still thinking about getting into another band, but something more along the style I want to play and not this 'standard' metal shit. I kinda wanna bring back the feel of Mr. Bungle. Unrestraint, unhinge music: Kinda just throwing all kinds of styles in. I mean I can write a radio friendly album to make it big so I can write my disco/jazz/metal/funk album.
I'm almost thinking that's what you have to do these days, you need to appeal to everyone. But you can't appeal to everyone with your radio friendly song. So make an album the masses want to hear, then make an album the metalheads wanna hear, and so on. But the chances of me finding the people to put that together with me are not in my favor that I know of. Sure some people I know are capable of it, but none of them wanna take the approach I want. Even though i'm sure if I explained it to them they'd know it would work. BRING ME THOSE PEOPLE!
As for today: The only thing i've eaten today is a bag of M&Ms, i'm out of gas and 20 miles from home, and i'm broke. I get paid tomorrow though, but I don't know for how long... Hopefull all of last week. I even got paid for the holiday! My finger's hurt from typing all day...
Fuck you.
2005-05-11
Ikonoklast and MSI
(Deadjournal entry: May. 8th, 2005, 02:00 pm) This was a very long day for me: And it all started at 4 in the morning. Got up for work, then got off at like 2. I get home at about 2:40, and I keep getting calls from Fred saying that I need to be at the Marquee by 4. So I took a shower, ate some food, and got some cash before I tore ass down to the Marquee before 3:45. I made good time. When I got there, the bus for MSI was already unloaded and the techs were setting shit up. We found that we were gonna get up after the band that was with MSI. So we all got comfortable and waited for some time to pass. So we met and conversated with MSI's tour manager about what it's like being on the road, how she got started, about the rules of the backstage area, and (if she likes us) maybe catching up with her again sometime. Then I took my seat, waiting for when we get to do our sound check and I look over and Kitty walks in! She's a beautiful woman, lol. I know it's in my head, but I swear man, she kept checking me out... But later on Jimmy walks in and i'm all like "SUP!", he said something along the lines of 'walloby.' I just kinda smiled as he walked up to the front of the stage for sound check. Later on while I was chilling in the dressing room, Sean and Fred were having at chat with some MSI types about nothing. And I learned that LynZ is a very nice person. When MSI started their sound check they rolled some track for Tornado, one of they're new songs, and 1989... I don't remember what else they checked on, but we hung out while they did their thing. Once we got up for our sound check it was already like 6. So we got our shit rolling, checked our sound, and I came across a small problem. The earbud things I usually use so I can headbang and go crazy didn't have enough insulation for me to hear only track, so I had to resourt to those monstrous DJ style ones. But we ammended and we all had some free beer, and smokes. On the way out the door, I heard people screaming at us that knew who we were, and 'MONKEY!' was something I heard alot that night. I got pretty nervous by this point so I sucked down a couple cloves as I watched person after person with an Ikonoklast shirt, or a MKIO shirt, or just someone I had seen somewhere else. A couple beers, and 5 cloves later, it's showtime and the lights go off. As we were walking out on the stage the screaming got louder, and I flashed back to the Slipknot DVD of when THEY walked out to a big crowd. I climbed behind the set, took off my shirt and beanie, threw my set on, and played the 'We're about to play' beat. Some small blast beats, a few cymbals, tom roll down. And Jonah said his opening word, then came the track for "The Suffering". Most details are a blur from this point on, but I remember a few things: - I threw my arms up during a break in a song, and I got the response I wanted - Jonah was jumping at the crowd having them scream parts - We were getting smokes thrown at us, Ryan tried to smoke one while he was playing - Fred went fucking INSANE! - Fred had some good manipulation of the track, cuz he was running the show - I started a pit with a simple had gesture - The panties Sean and Ryan thought were thrown by a dude, weren't. DAMNIT! - I got some Mardi Gras beads thrown at my set. - Everyone was there! After we played we broke everything down out back, went back stage, got loaded, socialized, and saw MSI side stage. I even gave Jimmy a slap ass before he rode out on his pony. We were talking with the other band, Bad Acid Trip for a while, so we may get back in contact with those guys. I'm tired of typing, too many damn distractions. But the MSI and Ikonoklast show was the best show i've ever played. They keep getting better!
2000-01-01
Bands
311, A Perfect Circle, Alice In Chains, Aphex Twin, Benny Benassi, Black Dahlia Murder, Blotted Science, Cannibal Corpse, Chevelle, Chimaira, C.K.Y., Coal Chamber, Coheed and Cambria, Cradle of Filth, Crotchduster, Darwin's Waiting Room, Dave Matthews Band, Days of the New, Dead Kennedy's, Death, Depeche Mode, Dethklok, Dillinger Escape Plan, Dir en Grey, Dope, Dragonforce, Dream Theater, Dredg, Electric Six, Element A440, Eminem, Evanescence, Extol, Fantômas, Faxed Head, Fear Factory, Flight of the Conchords, Foo Fighters, Franz Ferdinand, Freezepop, Gnarls Barkley, Green Day, Guns n' Roses, Hella, HIM, Imogen Heap, Incubus, Justin Timberlake, Kaada, Killswitch Engage, KMFDM, Korn, Lamb of God, Linkin Park, Liquid Tension Experiment, Locust Toybox, Lovage, Macabre, Mankind is Obsolete, Marilyn Manson, Maroon 5, Melt Banana, Meshuggah, Metallica, Mindless Self Indulgence, Mr. Bungle, Mr. Oizo, Mudvayne, Muse, Mutemath, My Chemical Romance, Necrophagist, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Nobuo Uematsu, OhGr, Orgy, Pantera, Poison the Well, Portishead, Primus, Prodigy, Psycroptic, Puscifer, Radiohead, Rage Against The Machine, Rise Against, Scorpions, Sepultura, Sevendust, Sikth, Silverchair, Slipknot, Social Distortion, Soilwork, Soulfly, Soundgarden, Spastic Ink, Sponge, Staind, Static - X, Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, Storm Troopers of Death, Sublime, System of a Down, Taproot, Team Sleep, The Advantage, The Dwarves, The Left Rights, The Mars Volta, Tiger Army, Tomahawk, Tool, Tori Amos, Transplants, Trivium, Ween, Weezer, Wham!
My old Myspace Bio.
I've been drumming for a marginally large portion of my life, but I don't count anything pre-high school. I got 4 years of marching band, jazz band, and concert band out of high school, didn't learn much else. I'm also very much into digital programming of music (Propellerhead's Reason), as well as guitar and vocalization. I've been on stage with Dying Slow, Farefis, Monsoon Alley, Ikonoklast, Reburn and the Skidmarks, London Metal Exchange, and Malnurture. I've shared the stage with so many more awesome musicians.
I have a beautiful lady at my side to experience all the awesome things that come my way, and to comfort me when some are less than great. I have a small group of very close friends that I have been through so many fights, parties, hard times, and good times with, that we're almost inseperable at times. As well as very good friends that i've just clicked so well with that they feel like family, just like the others. You could almost call us a "clan."
I'm obsessed with video games: Arcade, console, and computer alike. I've been playing video games almost as long as I've been hitting drums. I'm all about Final Fantasy games (1-7), the Legends on the Game Boy, Halo 3, and Diablo 2. I roll on XBOX Live as oldschoolmonk, so look me up.
I'm sick. My ideals and my acceptance to the world around me has left me cynical, jaded, stubborn, and I exibit lots of anti-social and sociopathic tendencies. I have an inability to take in and handle some elements of my reality. Most people I know don't know, so no harm no foul.
I have weird quirks, like a list. Lol. Give me messages if you wanna know them.
I have a beautiful lady at my side to experience all the awesome things that come my way, and to comfort me when some are less than great. I have a small group of very close friends that I have been through so many fights, parties, hard times, and good times with, that we're almost inseperable at times. As well as very good friends that i've just clicked so well with that they feel like family, just like the others. You could almost call us a "clan."
I'm obsessed with video games: Arcade, console, and computer alike. I've been playing video games almost as long as I've been hitting drums. I'm all about Final Fantasy games (1-7), the Legends on the Game Boy, Halo 3, and Diablo 2. I roll on XBOX Live as oldschoolmonk, so look me up.
I'm sick. My ideals and my acceptance to the world around me has left me cynical, jaded, stubborn, and I exibit lots of anti-social and sociopathic tendencies. I have an inability to take in and handle some elements of my reality. Most people I know don't know, so no harm no foul.
I have weird quirks, like a list. Lol. Give me messages if you wanna know them.
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