With all the ducks in a line...

There'll be a product that will make it hard to forget. I can't wait for it to catch.

I have to be a part of something that I've helped create before I'm done.

Surrounded with musicians!!!

If it were a pool, I would let you drown me (cuz I can't swim). I love having people that understand me in my life. Since all I know is music and video games, it makes it hard to talk to people since i'm old-school (lolz).

I booked a show on impulse and it wasn't anything impressive. But that's cool... I like what comes with knowing what's up with the show. And we needed the exercise.

I did them a favor! Lol.

Booze and budz. Hopefully i'll kick a puppy tonight.

I've only been trying to write music lately that I think other people would like.

Ever since I got back from Vegas (the last music convention LMX was a part of), I've had a shattered view of what the music business USED to be. But since people like me (pir83r5) exist, music has taken a new turn in integrating itself into technology. Napster, Morpheus, iMesh, mIRC, iTunes. Programs like these and a shit load more have become the medium for music distribution and discovery. Which not only means that the old ways of playing out to the AR reps are not only increasingly more difficult than they used to be, but it's almost obsolete. Everything you used to need a label or a company to accomplish can mostly be done in the comfort of your new home. Recording (Pro Tools), packaging (any ad in the back of a musicians magazine), promotion (Myspace), and distribution (iTunes, CD Baby). Since you can do it all yourself, all that's left is the money... Can you turn a strong profit on your own?

And that brings me back to where I came in at. After already knowing this stuff, and finally coming to terms with it once I had met with panelists at the convention, I saw what I thought I had to do. If I was gonna pull it off, I had to cater to the market. And even though I didn't want to be a part of the business like that, I subconsciously began thinking like everyone else in the popular scene does. What is hot right now?

When did I start turning pleasure into a job? I only say job because there's a fundamental difference between a job and a career, and jobs suck. I turned something I loved and enjoyed into something I thought I had to do a certain way, and it was horrible to think that I've turned into that. I've put so much pressure on myself to do what I think I’m supposed to do, and I completely forgot that the only way to do it is to do it the way you want it.

If it's not fun and exciting, your doing it wrong.

I'll be taking a passenger seat with music. But I still wanna write with Andrew, no matter what it is.

Now that i've got all my hard drive back together...

I know it doesn't look like much to some people, but I lost a bunch of my porn.

< / nerd >

I came home from the Amplify Music Conference the other day.

I haven't been the same ever since.

I've been playing out since I was 16, and i've always dreamed of doing music professionally since I was a kid. And once I got older and began doing bigger shows, I learned that music is a business. It's never been something that i've put out of mind, but I always thought I was ahead of the curb. Everything I know, I had put behind me when I had joined LMX. Stuff I had gotten tired of: Selling tickets, promoting at malls and music stores, high schools, it's a numbers game. I had always tried to put it out of mind the impossible odds I was up against, but it all came rushing back in when I was sitting through the conference.

I was never in it for just the money, you stick with what you love for the love of doing it. But to be reminded by the very people running the business, like the VP of Atlantic Records and touring manager of Hawthorne Heights, is just jarring. I've always known the truth, but it hurts to hear the truth from someone else.

I'm too mentally and emotionally exausted to try to survive in a business where the gatekeepers aren't able to support influx of new clients. The market is being flooded and oversaturated everyday, and it's become a lottery of people that don't know the facts. With the internet aimed at being the new medium for sharing and buying music in the next 10 years, everything that bands used to do to make it to the top is basically out the door. It's not a "Get a band, get an album, and someone will pick you up at a show" game anymore, although given my age, how can I really know.

I haven't learned anything new, i'm just accepting the truth.

I am eternally happy that I will always have a penchant for writing and playing music. I've never needed money, but I had always hoped that my love for music would be hotlinked to my musical career. I can and always have been happy without money, so I guess I AM still ahead of the curve.

A true musician will play for nothing.

Maybe for Reburn?

Jazz Slut

Jazz slut: I met you down at the local bar
I saw you once, and now I gotta know who you are
Who’s the girl with tight shirt and mini skirt
I wanna stick it to her and make it hurt
I knew tonight I wouldn’t be alone, sleeping at home
But instead, letting you play my rusty trombone
Jazz slut: We met down at the local bar
Take it easy bitch, not so hard!

Jazz slut, how I love you so
You’re the best, and I want you to know
Let’s fuck like animals to the sound of swing
I know you know just what I mean

We stayed up late, ‘till about a quarter to four
I came 3 times, but of course I still wanted more
Come on baby, let’s romp to the sound of Coltrane
Then maybe later, we can streak in the rain.

That’s a good jazz slut…